Even if I did nothing
That I would be good
Even if I got the thumbs down
~Alanis Morissette, That I Would Be Good
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn
~Alanis Morissette, You Learn
OK, it's time to come clean.
I don't know that many people know this about me, but I'm actually a sore loser. Shaky has seen this side of me quite a few times now. Although he remains supportive and loving, I'm sure it's getting to him. Often times, I'm also feeling low in the self-esteem category.
I won't even go into the details, because it's embarassing. Growing up, it took me awhile before I understood what "constructive criticism" meant, and even then, I had a hard time stomaching (and sometimes still do) anything remotely close. If I'm not good at something in a relatively short time, it really bugs the hell out of me, and it bugs me even more if someone else gets it first. I expect a lot from myself and I also don't like letting people down. People tell me I'm doing a great job, but sometimes I just can't believe it. Can't I do more? Why am I not a superwoman?
Oh well, it's all in the past now and I can laugh about it. You live and you learn - I've lived almost 28 years now and I'm still trying. How long is it going to take?
posted by Sonia @ 11:30 p.m.
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